How do you parent a teenager?
I'm putting up these beautiful pics of my Amber to remind me how awesome she is. We had a huge fight with her last night which seems to be happening more and more. She and Ryan cannot seem to communicate at all. They both like to be right and the way they look at things is SOOOO different. They both talk and yet don't hear what the other person says. I feel like I am always doing something wrong, or not doing enough, or not fast enough....I don't feel that way with any of the other kids generally. Is it because she is a teenager or because she is Amber? I have spent many years of my life working with teenagers either at church or dancing and I have always loved teenagers. Ryan spends everyday with teens and preteens in some sort of sport and taught teens for years at church too. We are seriously stuck on this one though...help.
On the bright side, she is beautiful and talented. She loves the Lord and wants to do what's right. She helps me with Grace a lot and is my only child that keeps her room clean! She is one of the most creative people I have ever met (a very cool trait and an opposite of her father the analytical mathematician). How do I help her be her best self without fighting every week about something?
I love Amber!
8 comments:
I wish I could help you here. She has always been on the stubborn side and translate that into teenager and I am clueless. I am terrified for what that brings with my kids, especially Brooklynn. Yikes. Say lots of prayers and hang in there. The pictures are gorgeous, but I LOVE HER HAIR in that first one, it looks so cute pulled back like that!!!
"What? She's a teenager now??" was my first response.
2nd response; she looks incredibly beautiful!! That first picture, wow! Her eyes are stunning.
3rd response; I haven't the slightest idea.
I suppose I can only reflect on my teenagehood since I am closer to that than to actually having one of my own.
I'd say, just keep it cool, let her do her thing. Teenage communication is difficult but now is her time to discover who she is and what she wants. Little reminders are good, but nagging at the little things that they do won't help. If she is commited to the Lord now, you'll have no problems in the future, her testimony may be challenged (as is every teenagers) but I know you taught her well. If she gets off track she'll come back around. I am sure the arguments will ease sooner than you think. It just takes time, patience, and a lot of tounge biting.
Not a clue....other than trying to set up some one-on-one fun time for them to reconnect.
Dude -- I'm following your lead :)
What a gorgeous granddaughter I have. Wow! Let her have the last word once in a while. Tell ryan he doesn't have to win every battle. And just love her to death (it might be yours). MOM
So I don't really have any advice but I do have a reminder. Her female hormones are RAGING! And having had a few experiences in the last week with hormones raging (I'm taking a progesterone pill for my future procedure) I can say that its a difficult thing to control, and I'm a rational thinking adult! Imagine how an irrational teenager is supposed to handle all those mood swings! Combine the hormones with her stubborness and need to be right and it could get messy...so I say focus on the positive, stay calm, be understanding and remember how difficult it is to be 13, because really...it sucks! You couldn't pay me to go back there! As for Ryan...I don't know. You can relate cause you were there but he can't. I'll have the same problem with TJ when Natalie gets to be 13!
Sigh and Pray! Roll your eyes and Pray! Scream and then Pray! Bite your tongue or just say nothing and Pray! Walk and away when needed and Pray! Apologize when you are wrong and Pray! Love her even when loving her is hard and then Pray! Tell you love her even when telling her you love her is hard (because you always love your children but you do not always like them) and espeicially when you may not like her and her attitude, etc. ... Ok, ok, you get my drift! Sometimes all you can do is love them and pray for them . . . oh, by the way did I mention praying . . . but often times your prayers are really for YOU!!
Wow! Great advice from everyone on here! I'm clueless too! Love and pray and let her feel like she's being heard now and again! The good news is she knows right from wrong and in the long run, she'll be fine! I remember a friend of ours telling us that when their daughter was a teenager, they never prayed more in there entire life than those years! PS-LOVE the pics! SHe is sooooo gorgeous! PPS-take good notes through this, I'll be calling on you in a few years when its Annie!
Send her to aunt Laura's more. Not that I can help, but that being away might make her miss her fabulous family and realize how good she has it.
Post a Comment